I smiled as this sign came into view a couple of months ago. I could relate; the phrase epitomized my motivation to share my story and compelled me to stop and capture it. Relatable then, but becoming even more personal recently.
Beautiful Breaking
Over the holidays, I experienced a moment of breaking. Doing and trying to be everything to everybody somehow has a way of surfacing during times that are supposed to be filled with peace and joy…the irony of it built up and overflowed from my soul. I found a quiet place and surrendered; as I wept, all that escaped from my lips was, “Lord, I’m a mess….” In this moment of despair, His voice whispered to my being, “Yes, Child, but you’re My mess.” And as I realized that His arms were the arms that held me, He made me conscious of my nothingness while simultaneously lifting me into the awareness that I’m His Child, a child of “the Most High God….” (Luke 6:35)
And at that moment, He realigned my identity.
Taking Root
A word from an ancient scripture has been taking root in my spirit. “But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and He that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.” Isaiah 43:1
In my previous blog post, I asked, What if life isn’t about what we do but who we are?
Who Am I?
Pausing to answer the question, Who am I ? takes time, effort, and courage. So much of our identity by default lies in what society tells us is essential, our parents’ expectations, our GPA, social status, and career—internal voices constantly echoing external pressure, you’re not good enough, you’ll never measure up. The Enemy loves to keep us discouraged, overwhelmed, and exhausted.
The Enemy’s Strategy
I’ve seen two systematic strategies used by the Enemy in my life and in the lives of those around me. The first to keep us so busy and overwhelmed that the thought of self-discovery seems selfish and unrealistic. And second, (he always has a backup plan) if we do make the time to look inward, he wants us to keep our focus on ourselves. Preoccupied with our competence or incompetence, and looking inside ourselves for strength and healing. This is where he wants us to stop. But, I’ve learned, as constructive as it is to look inward, stopping there is an empty place. Again, there’s another layer. When you look beyond yourself to a Holy Creator God that knows your deepest thoughts and desires— you will find fulfillment and your true identity. (Psalm 139:13,14)
I keep discovering the gravity of getting acquainted with God’s voice, so we can recognize Him in our moments of desperation. As feelings of unworthiness swept over me that day, Satan would have preferred that I kept reeling in my insufficiency. The last thing he wanted was for me to realize my need for stillness and quiet and my acknowledgment that I was a mess was his next best option. But, his plan was shattered as I heard the voice of my Father.
Grounded in The Cross
I’m discovering the more I learn about myself, the more I see my need for grace and a Savior. As the cross of Christ becomes my identity, I realize this is where I want to stay grounded. I want everything in my life to overflow from this place.
It’s from that place we develop preparation for Satan’s attacks. Preparedness for when he whispers, you’re a mess. The ability to counter with, Yes, but I’m a mess that He died for, a beautiful mess; the Enemy has no retort for this truth.
So today, I encourage you to uncover who He created you to be and walk boldly in this discovery.
It’s worth making time today to dance to this song as you sink into this truth!
More treasure hunting- Uncovering our identity in Him
John 15:11-19, Isaiah 54:17, Matthew 10:27, Psalm 19:14, Psalm 94:19