Discovering SunriseDiscovering Sunrise

mundane no longer has a place

Intentionality

Spirit is Life

by Caroline on category ,

“You can never give another person what you have found, but you can cause him to have a desire for it.”

Oswald Chambers

Soul Life

“‘He has set me free, Living’ ” words my Grandma penned at the bottom of Romans 7. Living. When was the last time you stopped to consider what living means to you? Really living. Are you surrounding yourself with what brings life to your soul? Stop and think about what stirs you deep inside. Makes you feel alive. Causes you to completely lose all track of time and place. Try to harness this feeling for just a moment.

Now allow yourself to consider that this feeling is God. Have you ever thought that God isn’t church, isn’t doctrine, isn’t books, isn’t anything you have perceived? God is Spirit. Spirit is Life. What if feeling alive is actually feeling God? What if doing the thing that makes you feel most alive is worship? If we spend our lives so busy that we never take the time to consider what truly lights us up, we can miss out on ever discovering who God is to us.

As I pour through the pages of the Bible, I note every time I come across another name for God. The list keeps expanding. If God was the same for each person, He would only have one name. But instead, the characters of the Bible, as they experience God for who He was to them, each gave Him the name most fitting. This leads me to the conclusion that my God is not your God. He’s the same entity but very different to each of us. Have you ever looked at a picture, listened to a song, read a book, and taken away something completely different than the next person? What if this is what it’s like to experience God?

Contemplate

What if you spent your life angry at someone else’s God because you just couldn’t understand how He could allow… fill in the blank? Or, what if you spent your lifetime “worshiping” someone else’s God in the way they worshiped and missed out on ever feeling worship and experiencing God? Both scenarios are so tragic but so real. I know because I lived the latter.

I could recite all of the stories, sing all of the songs, rehearse all of the doctrine, and I knew God and Jesus. But I didn’t realize my God and my Jesus. All of the foundational gifts that my parents gave me were so important in giving me a place to start, but they were foundational. And I almost stopped at the foundation, assuming this was it. But I wasn’t living. I was far from living. Going through the motions and living without intention left me empty and tired. If you have read through my blog, I have exposed events that have made me who I am today. But, these details are only meaningful if they help me convey to you, “Look how good my God is, He loved me too much to leave me there!” God, the one I share as my story unfolds, is My God.

Are you open to discovering who Your God can be to you?

Listen here: My Jesus 🎶

Sunrise

by Caroline on category , , , 
All you see is gray, darkness lingering at the crust of the earth
Another hopeless day of "drudging through the drudgery" without purpose
A sigh escapes your heavy heart.

All you see is pink, pushing through shades of lavender as the darkness ebbs away
The sun's rays, no longer held captive to the horizon
Another day to be alive, moments no longer lost to monotony
A deep inhale and praise escapes from your soul.

Which direction will you choose to face at sunrise? 

Be inspired to choose joy as you listen here

Not Today Satan, Not Today

by Caroline on category , ,

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 6:12 NIV

Yesterday morning, my attempt to wake up slowly, while sipping a warm cup of coffee next to my husband and the fire, was thwarted. As we laughed about it last night, my daughter recounted the incident, as she had observed from the other room. “Suddenly, I heard a weird noise, followed by Dad questioning, as if afraid of the answer, ‘What did you do?’ Mom made a strange sound; I wasn’t sure if she was laughing or crying. Then, silence.” Thrown into that unexpected moment, I had a choice to make.

Calling him out

I am a Warrior. Every day a battle. Though this battle may appear only against the flesh, evil lurks behind. Satan poised in the flesh, as a shattered french press, demanding boss, screaming baby, defiant teenager, difficult spouse, polarized politics, the media, reactivity. Satan will use anything he can. Always there, he is ready to test our faith and values, ready to steal our peace, and shake our confidence. Therefore, the awareness of his scheme can produce within us, a determination to fully equip ourselves, to be prepared for whatever he throws our way.

Getting ready

God has not left us to face these conflicts alone. We can fight with Truth, wrapped securely around our waists. His Righteousness, we can hold tightly to our chests—the promise of Salvation directing our thoughts to Christ and His sacrifice for us. Our hands and feet His, always ready to spread the gospel of Peace. The Evil One has burning arrows always prepared to strike, but our faith in God lends a Shield of protection. A shield against negativity, always ready to turn us back to see Jesus and to give thanks. Time spent daily in God’s Word equips us with His Spirit, flowing through us, arming us like a sword.

Accepting His partnership

We don’t have to do this life alone! Every day is a new opportunity to be open, live fully, untethered by worry and frustration. Day by day, I’m learning, its in the big and the little things, that God promises to give us all that we need for every situation; It’s just up to us to acknowledge our need, and gracefully or not, accept His out-stretched, nail-scarred hand.

Stepping Out of the Cyclone

by Caroline on category , , , ,

“In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.”

Dave Hollis

Reflection

Before the first bands of light crept into the black sky on Saturday morning, I immersed myself into the lyrics of the song, “Something Heavenly” by Santus Real. As I reflectively went back in time, I began to write…

Eight years ago today, something shifted within me. Eight years ago today I also awoke in the darkness, but in contrast, today I awoke in peace. That morning the sound of the weather alert, wind and rain, and a sense of urgency to take shelter, broke the sleepy silence; in that moment something inside me stirred. As I hunched in my basement, beneath a roaring train, holding my 5-year-old to my chest, I knew what really mattered.

I see now, the restoration of our home is only a glimpse of the renovation God has done in my heart—renovation leading to restoration. That morning, as the tornado stripped away our roof, my heart’s first layer also became exposed. The realization struck me, we aren’t meant to live, tucked neatly within our four walls and behind picket fences; with the chaos hidden inside. I have since, removed layer, after layer, after layer, of my life, I am now on the other side of the destruction. We have removed not only physical possessions, but also expectations, commitments, debt, and consumerism. I have surrounded myself with what really matters, and what remains, is peace.

Urgency

How do I portray this? My heart aches to share what I have discovered. I see it around me, many in the cyclonic life; the swirling around of everything, except for what truly matters. Let it fall apart. Let the roof come off of your house. I would do it all again in a second. Be willing to be exposed, and real. It’s underneath it all where we are alive. All of these things we think are life are only a semblance that we have constructed. Overfilled schedule and lives are tearing families apart. In a rush to create life, we are losing it! Our society has it all wrong. They tell us- go, go, go– do, do, do –work, work, work – and this becomes a shell of life.

I discovered soul guidance, hidden in Isaiah 30:15, where God tells His people that it is “in quietness and trust ” (NIV) where strength is found. In the King James Version He says, “In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not.” Over and over again He urges us to stop; “…but you would have none of it”, He says. Although He discouraged their constant motion, they still said, let’s get our horses, let’s fight, let’s run, let’s go…. and like so long ago, He is still longing for us to stop and find our strength.

Stillness

If we clear the chaos even for just a moment, we will hear Him say, your strength, your sanity, your life, is right here with Me. Right here, in the quiet place. But this quiet place, we must create. Quiet and stillness won’t just happen like the inevitable silence that comes immediately after the passing of a tornado. Creating silence feels scary, I know, I’ve been there, but it’s necessary to begin cleaning up.

You can’t begin restoration in the middle of the cyclone of life. First, the roof, your first layer, must be torn off. And then, when the silence ensues, you have a choice to pause for a moment and decide, is where I’ve been worth rushing back to? Sit in that silence a little while and listen to your soul. Is it time for a shift in direction? Time for a cleanout, a cleanup, or a major renovation? This choice is yours, and it’s worth considering.

Movement

So, embrace the chaos of your life, and use it as a warning signal; alerting that that you can’t go on this way. Get in the driver’s seat and be intentional with your time and energy. Life is going to just keep happening, with or without your input; but with intentionality you can end up where you thrive. Surviving may be part of the process, but it’s not the end-point. Be brave enough to live, and start forging your path through the destruction toward what really matters.

Be Inspired – “Say I Won’t” by MercyMe

bare tree with glossy christmas toys and lights against dark sky

Can We Live Today Like Heaven Came Down?

by Caroline on category , , 
Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer...
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year...

What I’m learning from Pig-Pen

 As we snuggle up to watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” I realize there’s a lesson to be learned from Pig-Pen. We all leave a trail behind us, an unmistakable cloud that surrounds us.  The question is, what does our cloud look like? Pig-Pen’s cloud is visible, but so is ours. What are we giving off with every word, every action? Are we stirring up dust and dirt, bringing down the aura around us, or are we emitting an uplifting spirit, spreading happiness and joy? Could it be, this is what it means to bring heaven to earth? What if we lived every moment like it was our chance to create heaven? If we took just a second before speaking and acting, to determine if we have the chance to make heaven real?

We can only have one or the other, heaven or hell. If we become more intentional and consider first, would our actions change? What if all we focus on is the cloud around us?  What would we see? Would we be able to see past our aura as we radiate joy and goodness? Or would we get caught up in looking down because we can’t see past the dirt and grime? 

Embracing today’s reality

In these mixed-up times, I catch myself wishing things were different; I realize I have to stop and evaluate. Could it be we aren’t created to wish away this life, whatever it looks like? In Matthew 3:2, John the Baptist declared,  “Repent for the kingdom of heaven has come near.” He wasn’t prophesying about the end of time. A time when earth as we know it will end, and we will go to a perfect place. He was announcing the arrival of Jesus Christ to earth! “The kingdom of God has come near.” Jesus brought heaven down. He didn’t spend a short, miserable life complaining about all the sin and tragedy here, saying He couldn’t wait to leave this horrible place and go back to His Father. No, God brought heaven down.

Jesus showed us how to live and enjoy life. Not only to reap eternal life but also life on earth! He showed us what heaven looks like. He lived, He loved, thoroughly and openly. His life on earth was far from miserable! He created a network of friends, community; laughing- eating- drinking- loving-living- Heaven on earth. I see sparkles of joy just exploding around Him!

Choosing joy

Continuously we have the choice- create heaven or hell? Not an ultimate destination, but in this moment. Jesus Joy or Pig-Pen Filth? Pig-Pen makes it easier for me to analyze my every action. Although I often fail, I strive to live every moment in thanksgiving, emitting joy and gratitude around me everywhere I go, bringing heaven to earth. That’s the beauty of recognizing moments; we keep getting redos! In this holiday season, which likely looks very different from previous years, let’s remember we have the opportunity to create joy! 

As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love...I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this; Love each other as I have loved you.  John 15:9-12

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What if Your Story Didn’t Stay Hidden?

by Caroline on category , , , ,

All I know is I was blind, but now I see…

Heart open and torn, able to feel joy and pain; where I once was numb.

Presence, stillness, and peace; where rushing and worry resided.

Conviction where indifference stood.

Life changed. My life, completely altered.

Tossed and anchorless, controlled by waves of circumstance, emotion, reactivity; now grounded.

Once slave to debt and consumerism; to obligation- to more, more, more…where now there is contentment.

I was living my own death sentence; His death for me in vain.

His beautiful gift of salvation, I accept; with my face to the ground, muddy tears confessing, His blood washing away what used to be!

I accept, hope eternal raised from the dead; I’ve been set free! I feel the freedom, sweet release, I’m bound no more, His saving grace.

Like the blind man, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

I was blind, but now I see!

No turning back…no turning back. 

"When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!' Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!' Jesus stopped and said, 'Call him.' So they called to the blind man, 'Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you.' Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. 'What do you want me to do for you?' Jesus asked him. The blind man said,  'Rabbi, I want to see.' 'Go,' said Jesus, 'your faith has healed you.' Immediately he received his sight and follwed Jesus along the road." Mark 10:47-52 NIV

When Jesus asks, “What do you want me to do for you?” will you have an answer?

What’s your story?

Exposed, and This is Who I Am- Part Two

by Caroline on category , , ,

Every person has an outlook on life; he is seeking his highest joy. Outlook determines outcome…If life is to be rich and meaningful, then our joys must be the highest possible and Jesus tells us that the highest joy possible is to see God.

Warren Wiersbe, Live Like a King

A Constant Practice

I didn’t expect it to take me almost three months to write this follow-up post, misled into thinking I first had to complete my quest to address every single item in the dreaded closet to continue. Again, as I have sorted through so many things, I recognize this is a continual process. Not something to be completed, but a constant evaluation of what I allow to remain. I have rediscovered that learning to live intentionally involves so much more than just getting rid of stuff.

Retrospect

I frequently moved during my childhood; therefore, I spent a lot of my time packing and unpacking items, yet I don’t really remember them. As I went away to college, I took only essentials, leaving excess left behind. I never returned home to appreciate boxes and drawers filled with what I had abandoned.

Although the items left behind no longer held value to me, I just accepted them back into my household, box by box, as I entered adulthood. Instead of intentionally addressing the items, I began to reinforce the habit of thoughtlessly keeping and collecting things, placing value and sentiment onto lifeless items. I was unknowingly creating idols. Giving lifeless items importance, allowing them to steal my space, and hold me down, ultimately allowing them to steal my freedom.

Shifting to Intentionality

Breaking this cycle requires determining the reason for keeping or removing each thing. As I strive to live intentionally, I have to contemplate what I really want out of life? I know my resolution- Freedom. To be free of stuff, free of idols. Desiring to live open and honest and free, my actions, aligning with my values. Leading me to a place to establish a home to nurture family, and growth, and relationships. Home, a place of respite and a place to give my daughter wings to fly- experiencing life without managing stuff. To give each of us the ability to go anywhere, untethered, free.

It’s the fear of leaving the comfortable that held me back for so long. But, as I grow spiritually, I realize this fear is beginning to fade. Because of frequently practicing letting go, I was recently able to experience significant growth. I had an item, which I was more attached to than I had realized.

My Bible, which I had received from my Mom 22 years ago, had played a substantial part in building my relationship with Jesus; full of sentiment and built-in devotionals, my favorite verses marked, and well-worn pages. My Bible, which I thought was an integral part of my connection to Christ. And then, God asked me to give it away. Let go. Follow Him. And I did. The freedom and the growth I have experienced, already reaching so far beyond what I could have imagined! He tells us- Give- Store your treasure in heaven- Come- Follow Me… Trust Me.

Centrifugal Motion

Everything I have must continually be evaluated for purpose, recognizing changing circumstances. I can use each thing to learn from and share or allow it to become an idol. Treasure in heaven can not coexist with treasure on earth. The more I release back to Him, the more freedom I feel. The more I learn to trust, the more alive I become! Experiencing a taste of heaven in the midst of earth. Trusting Him has nothing to do with our bravery and sacrifice. It is the full acknowledgment of what He can do in our lives and what He has already done. We must take ourselves out of the equation, or else we will miss the point. I want nothing in my life that I can not let go of, in trust. He has shown me the beauty and the peace of releasing the comfortable.

Yes, our outlook determines the outcome —every day, a new opportunity to reevaluate what is truly important. I am learning I have to acknowledge, anything that takes me away from what really matters is only a distraction. Anything that takes away from peace in my soul, and time with God or His purpose, is an idol.

Through the removal of things from my life, I have discovered who I am. As Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 15:10, “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect…”

There is only one relationship that really matters, and that is your personal relationship to your personal Redeemer and Lord. If you maintain that at all costs, letting everything else go, God will fulfill His purpose through your life.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

Exposed, and This is Who I Am- Part One

by Caroline on category , ,

It’s been four years since I began the process of decluttering, minimizing, and determining what is essential in my life. As I have experienced this process, I have evolved and grown in ways that I never expected. With repetition, letting go becomes less painful, and the lightness I feel afterward is freeing. The more I recognize I am in control, the more I allow myself to let go, and I am empowered—release, potentiating a cycle of change. I now recognize that the feelings of freedom that have surfaced have become a craving, essential to my wellbeing. I’ve tasted it, and there’s no turning back.

Four years is a long time, and finally, I have recognized the reason why paring down has taken me so long. I have neglected to address everything fully. In my adaptation of minimalism, I tried to justify overlooking the hard stuff. I thought I could do this halfway. Time and again thinking, this is enough paring down, this stuff I don’t want to address right now isn’t hurting anything. But then I realize, it still produces heaviness.

It’s time that I acknowledge; I have a basement closet full of items that I’ve attached sentiment to, and kept “just in case”. No longer can I pretend that they’re not stealing my peace and taking me away from what really matters. We’ve chiseled away so much, and I realize if I don’t do this all the way, we will be missing out.

Read On

Rest

by Caroline on category , , , 
“And these are they which are sown among the thorns; such as hear the word, and the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful.” Mark 4:18,19 KJV


June 30, 2020

I've been feeling choked lately. I've lost my balance, life swirling merciless around me. Although I know better, this lack of intentionality is still my default. And, the father of darkness knows that for me, this is all it takes. A couple of days of overwhelm, stack nicely on top of sleep deprivation, and the cycle of loss of control builds. Focus lost and meaningless stuff and tasks are given undue importance, all because I took my eyes off of my Rock, my Anchor. I began to be tossed and feel choked. I know I'm not living my best life; and this realization, potentiates the cycle of frustration. I begin losing precious moments to worry, anxiety welling up, and as the furry builds, so do mishaps, and Satan chuckles, and I scream, "Get out of here Satan! You're done here!" and I try to call him out of his scheme, but I quickly slip right back, and as feelings of utter overwhelm strangle me, I hear Jesus say, "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." And I choose rest—a reset. I will walk away from the created chaos, and I will sink into His embrace and sleep. Knowing that tomorrow, what is truly important will remain, but for a time, I claim peace and rest.


July 7, 2020

The sound of the dogs barking stirs me from a restful sleep. Begrudgingly I get up to check on them. Shuffling back to bed, I anticipated no less than my return to slumber. But, as my head hits the pillow I suddenly feel utter darkness. Never before have I felt darkness; the weight of it consumes me and I am pushed back into my bed. Engulfed, I attempt to break free, but the pressure, the weight around my neck, is choking me and I realize I can’t breathe. In my mind I know,  I just have to say Jesus' name to break free. And I push, and I fight, and I struggle, and with what feels like one last gasp I whisper Jesus and immediately I am released. The engulfing darkness gone. I sit up, catching my breath and I feel utter peace. A deep, tranquil peace. I have no remaining fear. I had never felt darkness and light like this- the immediate contrast from one extreme to the other could not be mistaken.

Read On

Nameless

by Caroline on category , 
In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul. Psalm 94:19 KJV

It was a crisp morning, the kind that draws you outside, if wrapped in a soft blanket accompanied by a warm cup of coffee. As I settled in and began reading, the heading caught my attention, “A Rich Man’s Questions.” I had always just read on without pausing to deliberate like I did that day.

Luke 18:18 begins with “A certain leader,” asking Jesus, “What must I do to have life forever?” and Jesus responds, “You know the commands,” fully aware that this man knew Jewish law by heart. The nameless ruler responds, contemplating how he’d pursued the religion since he was a boy. Pride swells in his heart, life forever, most certainly assured. “There is still one more thing I need you to do,” the sound of Jesus voice breaks into his reflection. “Sell everything you have and give it to the poor. . . then come follow me.” And the man remains nameless. Too attached to what he holds tightly in clenched fists.

How different his story could have been. But he chose to hold on and remain nameless. I don’t know if this is a literal calling for each of us, but I do know Jesus is speaking about priorities. He wants to be our everything. It’s so much easier to latch on to a doctrine, a set of religious beliefs, in an attempt to find eternal life. It’s so much easier to find security in jobs, money, family, and things, staying just busy enough, to avoid asking the hard questions. It’s so much easier to pass blame and judgment in an attempt to avoid self-examination. But Jesus tells us this is not where we find our authentic life.

In this world of “making a name for yourself,” Jesus waits in anticipation to give us a name, an identity. When we find our identity in Him, we begin to see ourselves differently; no longer focusing on our weaknesses, failures, and flaws. When we find our identity in Him, we begin to see others differently; no longer focusing on status, or color, or sexual orientation, or political party, or religion. We recognize a Child of God. When we stop focusing on our differences and let go of preconceived notions and ideas, we find freedom. When we are willing to let go of anything that gets in the way of spending time with Him, we find our purpose and peace. When He calls me, “Child of God,”. . . “the things of earth grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. . .”

Another reminder that it is in letting go we find life, life forever. This realization leaves me to question, are the things of earth worth remaining nameless? 

Treasure Life.

✕