“The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: He wakeneth morning by morning, He wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned. The Lord GOD hath opened mine ear, and I was not rebellious, neither turned away back.”
Is 50:4, 5
Discovering Ephphatha
Even though Open the Gate was all I knew, I had to follow the call in my heart. I knew it was unconventional, but I am learning that the deeper I go with God, the more mysterious life becomes while congruently becoming simple and joy-filled. As I continue to read John 14 daily, He is teaching me to Abide. And I’m learning that abiding is related more to being open and receiving Him, than my “doing.”
Following
Initially, as I began to feel His discoveries build, my heart heard, Write, share your story as it unfolds with Me, so I started blogging. And more recently, I felt Him pushing me further out of my comfort zone; Open the Gate. That’s all I knew.
Next, as bizarre as it may sound, God gave me October 15. I committed. With their gracious support, I shared with my family and decided something was happening here on that date. It wasn’t until a couple of days before the 15th that I read a verse that makes me smile every time, “How beautiful are the feet of them who bring the Good News…”. That’s when I saw the alignment of Romans 10:15 and the date 10-15, realizing we were to open the gate to invite others to celebrate the Good News. And as we did, I knew God was stretching me.
Growing
I’m a planner, but I handed this gathering to Him and left the invitation open without RSVPs. I am also an introvert, and I knew inviting others and sharing what I had been discovering would require me to speak to the group, which seemed terrifying. Therefore, I unknowingly began to resort to a survival technique I had developed in college.
To survive college presentations, I learned how to present my information while hiding behind what I call a “presenter persona,” disingenuous at best, but an introvert’s survival. So, once I understood the gist of what we were doing, I began composing my presentation. As I did this, I felt unsettled. The words I wrote were genuine and heartfelt, but sharing them in the manner I was planning, didn’t feel aligned. And then, the morning of our party, God laid on my heart, share your story.
Where do I even begin? I pondered as I flipped open an old journal and read:
“January 7, 2015 ‘Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God; also trust in Me.’ John 14:1” God, this feels aligned. I continued reading, “Trust is the antithesis of stress” (quoted from One Thousand Gifts) and “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow. Romans 15:13”
And then, the subsequent quote I had jotted down from the same book, “Belief is a verb something you do…The work of trusting love. Intentional and focused. Sometimes, too often, I don’t want to muster the energy. Stress and anxiety seem easier…are stress and worry evidences of a soul too lazy, too undisciplined, to keep its gaze fixed on God?… If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting, then to choose stress is an act of disbelief…atheism. Anything less than gratitude and trust is practical atheism.” Whew.
I then turned to another entry, written as I was acknowledging how different I was beginning to feel through being intentional with God and spending time in His Presence. He was changing me, and I was craving to authentically share it. On April 15, 2015 I wrote, “…start small. My own heart…like a ripple effect. I want Him to use me…the ‘greats’ in the Bible weren’t all preachers and priests. They were everyday people living out faith in the real world. I want this to be my story.”
As I internalized this that morning, He reminded me, just overflow. He was using this to teach me, maybe more that it did had to do with my sharing with others. He reminded me to stop trying and doing, be. Remain open, trusting, Ephphatha.
I continue to realize, the more I think I understand what God is trying to teach me, the more He turns it upside down and says, “Now look again, in My Presence.” It’s like doing a headstand, and as the floor morphs into the ceiling, you are transported into a different place. This new perspective, I discover every time.
Celebrating
God knows I have so much growing to do, and He is stretching me again. So in faith and an overflowing of all He has done, we will open the gate again this Saturday (November 12). Providing a place to share our stories and celebrate the beauty and wonder of learning to live a more full life, Abiding in Him.
(If you would like details, contact me at discoveringsunrise@yahoo.com)