Recently, as I sat watching someone I love languish in pain, helplessness attempted to creep in. When I arrived home from the hospital for a quick respite, I read Jonah, and the concept of the “belly of hell” became real to me. It refocused me to the place of thanksgiving. I felt helpless, and it’s right there, where we have nothing left; God asks us to lift our hands in a hallelujah. And as gratitude floods the soul, our perception changes; a shift that can only happen in this place.
The belly of hell. Whether physical, circumstantial, relational, or psychological, this place of desperation is never when or where we expect.
“Out of the belly of hell cried I, And thou heardest my voice.” Jonah 2:2 KJV
I was searching for more, something different than the race I’d been living, but I didn’t know what it was. The discontent led me to minimalism, intentionality, and self-awareness. I was making positive changes, but my focus was misplaced. Unaware, I had replaced the noise of consumerism and chasing stuff with the clutter of “being” and “doing” through my own strength and intentionality. I had created empty spaces that were beginning to reveal a more profound emptiness. As I began to use some of my newly discovered free time in stillness, God listened to my cry when I didn’t even know I was crying out (Jonah 2:2). He answered me in the physical interruption of my life. As I battled Lyme Disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and Babesia, I began to hear God’s whisper.
I can still smell the crisp spring air as I recall mustering up the energy to wander the trail to clear my mind. As I forced movement of my broken-down body, the song “Space to Speak” permeated into my soul. In my quest for control, I didn’t yet realize that I was fleeing from God’s presence (Jonah 1:3), but there, in my brokenness, I was learning to make space for Him.
Cultivating a New Perspective
I discovered this thanksgiving concept several years prior as I read “One Thousand Gifts.” I was a master of negativity, even the little things I found to complain about with one barrage of “ugh” after another. This book opened my eyes to how I was looking at life, and I became more intentional in acknowledging blessings and embracing what was before me. Learning to give thanks was a start, but still, I was vomiting tiny particles of negativity over beautiful everyday moments.
Regardless, I began to enact the discipline of giving thanks. I didn’t have illustrations yet like the “belly of hell,” but I learned one choice at a time to give thanksgiving. And the more I practiced, the more I realized that gratitude and negativity can not exist in the same breath. We are given opportunities repeatedly to cultivate this, and practicing is essential to giving thanks when it hurts. I learned that sometimes we give praise because it is an overflowing of the thanks we feel in our hearts, and sometimes we give thanks despite the circumstances because this is what we have learned to do. Either way, there is a peace that comes with giving thanks in all things.
As I recently unpacked the story of Jonah, I discovered the realness of Jonah’s experience. Amid his daily routines and plans, Jonah heard God’s call to “Go” (Jonah 1:1,2), and instead, he ran, attempting to flee from God’s Presence. Fleeing from the presence of God. How many times do we try to do this in a day? Do we flee from His presence with the perpetual motion we insist on keeping? Do we flee from His presence when we lack intentionality? When we finally stop moving at the end of the day and turn on a show, stare at a screen, or grab a drink, numbing our minds? Do we flee when we pick up our phones instead of interacting with the human next to us?
Back to Jonah…
As the storm pressed, waves crashed, and the safety that Jonah had chosen for himself began to dismember; he was forced to acknowledge that God meant what He said when He said, “Go.” Jonah’s attempt at escaping the presence of God was only going to lead to death. “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” Jonah 2:8 NIV. When he realized the imminent destruction of all those around him, he demanded they throw him into the raging sea. He chose to die instead of fleeing anymore from his Creator.
There in the “belly of hell,” Jonah acknowledged his position and the position of God. When he cried out in his lowest moment, God heard him. In stillness, God saved him, allowing him three days and three nights to contemplate his situation. And amid this janked up circumstance, Jonah chose to praise Jehovah. “…but I will sacrifice unto Thee with the voice of thanksgiving.” Jonah 2:9 KJV
Go
God longs for our stillness and the sacrifice of the voice of thanksgiving. In every circumstance. Like Jonah, once I got to this point of acknowledging my nothingness and need, I had nothing left but a hallelujah. And this beautiful moment of praise changed my heart. Giving thanks changes us, and getting into God’s presence transforms us. Letting go of our worthless idols opens us up to God’s grace and mercy. Every moment matters. If the soul tells you something is off, listen. Be willing to embrace your belly of hell, whatever it might look like, because it might be the very thing that brings you into the life-saving presence of the Life-Giver.
“All my words fall short, I’ve got nothing new, how could I express all my gratitude…So I throw up my hands and praise You again and again ’cause all that I have is a halleleujah…” 🎶Brandon Lake- Gratitude